“What is a butterfly? At best he’s but a caterpillar dressed. The gaudy fop’s his picture just.” - B.F.
“His Royal Highness, Prince Damien, is welcoming all young women of eligible age to partake in the Royal Ball this evening from sundown to midnight. The prince will be choosing his future bride from the lovely ladies of the kingdom and the wedding ceremony will be held in a month’s time. We look forward to seeing you.”
“Arlinda, stop that unseemly squealing this instant,” a voice snapped coolly. My stepsister, who had been squealing in excitement after reading the invitation, shut up instantly. I looked up to see my stepmother, Lucille, who fixed me with her usual sweeping gaze, before fixing her eyes on the letter. “What is this about an invitation?” Sweeping forward, she plucked the invitation from Arlinda’s hands. I watched warily as her eyes narrowed in thought, no doubt planning how she would dress Arlinda up so she would catch the prince’s eye.
“Stepmother?” I began tentatively, hoping to ask for some money so I could purchase a suitable dress. “Could I-”
“Arlinda!” Lucille barked, cutting me off. “We mustn’t waste time. Hurry upstairs and soak yourself in a lavender water bath while I go pick up your new dress.” Arlinda snapped to attention and dashed upstairs, her gown billowing around her bare ankles.
“And you, Aeria,” Lucille fixed her eyes on me coldly and I shivered despite myself. “I’m sure you can find yourself something suitable in your room.” She fixed her hard gaze on me, daring me to challenge her. In resignation, I nodded and made my way to my room.
***
After perusing the meager selection of dresses in my closet, I finally selected a dark plum satin dress embroidered delicately with gold. I had just finished making this one a few days ago and though it was simple, I was quite proud of my work. I had barely put it on and was yanking a brush through my tangles when Arlinda’s screech broke through the silence.
“Aeria! Get over here!” Abandoning my brush with a sigh, I hurried to her room. Arlinda sat in front of her vanity while my stepmother piled her golden hair into an elegant bun on top of her head. My heart plummeted when I saw her. She looked stunning in a strapless sapphire gown and matching silver jewelry. Her golden hair was perfect, as usual, and everything about her just radiated beauty and grace. She addressed me with a smug, makeup-coated smile and dabbed even more rogue on her already pink cheeks. “Well Aeria, don’t you look... nice.” She smirked at my simple gown and I blushed.
“Arlinda, I was wondering if I could borrow some jewelry and shoes.” I said firmly, trying to ignore her mockery.
“Go ahead. Take what you want. It’s not like it’ll do you any good anyway.” She laughed and smiled prettily at her reflection. “The prince is mine.”
I ignored her gibe and sorted through her things until I came across what I needed. Glancing at myself in the mirror, I nervously smoothed down the dress and announced, “Okay. Ready.”
Lucille laughed softly as if my words amused her. “Aeria dear,” she said maliciously, eyeing my dress over. “Are you really going to go in that? It’s so... plain. You’ll never catch the prince’s eye like that.” She smiled at me as if in sympathy, but her eyes glittered meanly. “Now Arlinda on the other hand, has decked herself in an apparel worthy of royalty.”
“Or to be more precise, worthy of the prince’s bride.” Arlinda added, flouncing her skirts.
“Well, it’s not what’s on the outside that counts, Arlinda,” I retorted sharply. “ It’s what’s on the inside. It’s who you are as a person. You may look beautiful, but the prince may not like what he finds on the inside. Appearance isn’t everything.”
“Oh please Aeria,” Arlinda scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Don’t give me that rubbish. It doesn’t matter if you have a heart of gold if you can’t even catch the prince’s eye. It’s all about the looks.” She struck a pose, and despite how much I disliked her, I had to admit that she looked stunning. But I still stood by my beliefs. I was sure that despite how beautiful Arlinda looked, the prince would look through her simpering, artificial sweetness and see how cruel and cold she really was.
***
When we arrived at the ball, Arlinda and Lucille rushed off immediately to chat with their friends, and I moved awkwardly through the crowd. I ended up at the banquet table, nervously watching as people danced by me in grand, colorful ensembles. In my nervousness, I nearly knocked over a bowl of punch, but when I reached out to steady it, another pair of hands beat me there.
“Careful now,” the young man said with an amused smile, and I flushed in embarrassment.
“I’m so sorry. I’m just really nervous. I mean, I’ve never been to a royal ball before and everything’s just so different and slightly intimidating.” I realized I was babbling and shut up immediately, flushing again.
He chuckled. “Completely understandable, miss...?” He trailed off, waiting for my name.
“Oh. It’s Aeria. My name’s Aeria” I stammered nervously. I opened my mouth to ask for his name but just then, someone shoved me out of the way and I went sprawling.
“Oh dear, I am so sorry Aeria,” Arlinda said in mock apology, eyes wide. “Here, let me help you.” She reached for me but to my surprise, the young man reached me first and gently helped me back up.
Arlinda’s eyes flashed angrily and she squeezed in between us. “Why, hello Prince Damien.” I stared in shock. The prince?! Batting her eyelashes seductively, Arlinda stepped in closer. “I’m Arlinda, Aeria’s sister, and I’d really love to get to know you better.” Before he could protest, she linked her arm around his and dragged him away. He turned his head, as if to call out to me, but Arlinda pulled him quickly out of my sight. To my surprise, I felt a bit upset about this turn of events. The prince had seemed very kind and I had taken a liking to his gentle character. But it seemed that even he was taken over by Arlinda’s beauty and charmed by her facade.
Just as I was thinking this, the prince appeared beside me, flustered and out of breath. “I’m very sorry about that. Your sister is quite,” he paused, searching for the right word. “Willful.”
I laughed in agreement, “yes, yes she is.”
“Aeria, would you like to dance?” He asked suddenly, pulling me towards the dance floor. “Let’s dance.” I gaped at him, sure that he was joking, but he just smiled back at me sincerely.
I smiled tentatively back. “I would love to.”
***
We danced the night away and as we twirled, we talked. As flustered as I was, I enjoyed the conversation immensely and soon I realized I had taken a real liking to the prince, who was both easy to talk to and overall a genuinely kind person.
Soon the clock struck midnight and a wave of sadness coursed through me because I knew this was the first and last time I would be spending time with the prince. I lapsed into silence at this thought and noticing this, the prince twirled me towards an open balcony, asking “Aeria, what’s wrong? Are you not enjoying yourself?”
His genuine concern nearly brought tears to my eyes but I blinked them away quickly. “No, of course not. This has been the most wonderful night of my life. And you are the most wonderful person I’ve ever met.” I blushed as the last part slipped from my mouth but I continued nonetheless, “I’m just a bit sad that the night is ending and we’ll be going our separate ways.” There was a few moments of silence and I looked down, unable to meet his eyes.
“Aeria, marry me,” he said suddenly. “You are the one I choose.” He looked down at me, his cheeks flushed but his expression completely sincere.
“Why would you choose me?” I asked softly. “There are so many beautiful girls here tonight. And my stepsister Arlinda is the most beautiful of them all. Why me?”
Damien laughed, clearly amused, and winked at me with a broad grin. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you, Aeria? It’s the inside that counts. Arlinda may have a beautiful face, but she definitely doesn’t have a beautiful heart. She looks like a beautiful butterfly, but in reality she’s only a caterpillar dressed up to hide the ugliness beneath. Now on the other hand, Aeria, you are a true butterfly because you’re beautiful on the inside and out. That makes you the most beautiful of all.”
I laughed, “You and your metaphors. But yes. Yes, I will marry you ” He pulled me closer and we continued to sway in the balcony, the moon washing us with pale silver light, marking the beginning of our happily ever after.
I thought it was very effective to support your quote with a classic story that everyone was familiar with. As soon as I read the invitation, I could recognize the archetypal background and your interpretation of the quote was very clear. I liked that you put your own spin on it by taking the magic out of it. This allowed you to emphasize the point that beauty was superficial and "Cinderellas" shouldn't even need any transformation of their appearance. This twist was thought provoking in that it made me question the morals that we get from the classic fairytales we grow up with. They all seem very centered around the idea of beauty, and you used your quote to point out that beauty and prosperity should not be related. Very well done!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was peer editing with you on your rough draft, I noticed that even though it was a great story and full of vivid imagery, it was lengthy and at times not relevant to your epigraph or prompt. This revised version is much more focused and clear; almost every sentence you write has a purpose to your story and portrays the epigraph in a clever and effective manner. It's quite creative how you took the classic story of Cinderella and made it your own by leaving out the magical transformation of Aeria (Cinderella). It seemed to emphasize how meaningless the cosmetic appeal of physical appearance is in determining true beauty. I really enjoyed the ending, when the prince almost directly references the epigraph. It provided closure and summed up the purpose of your story concisely.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this "twist" on the classic Cinderella story. As Fiona mentioned, you took the magic out of it, but it was beneficial because along with making it more realistic, it helps the reader stay focused on your point. The meaning behind your epigraph was made very clear, and the theme of appearance really sticks out. You went into great detail about what dresses the step sisters were wearing, and even included the fact that Aeria made her own dress. This really payed off in creating a scene in my mind. Picturing Arlinda dressed up "at best" really emphasized the idea of her trying to cover up the ugly catipillar that she is. Overall great work!!
ReplyDeleteFinally! A happy story. All narratives here either have death, or something bad such as being injured, fired etc. It's also more challenging to write a happy story, because it's always harder to be emotionally happy than sad. What a relief!
ReplyDelete(not to be graded)