Emily Royer
Blog
Karl Everett’s seventy-five year old hands shook in the chill of the icy blue morning as he stared out the window, concentrating his gaze on the little yard in front of his house that had changed so much over the years. Deep wrinkles overwhelmed his weathered face, illuminating gray eyes that revealed a deep, unalterable sadness. Although his body was deteriorating, his memory was intact and served as a constant and painful reminder of her. His eyes scorched two holes through the window pane as he gazed at the white picket fence that Marilyn had wanted more than anything. Marilyn. He saw her there for a brief second, her emerald eyes winking as she smiled at him. And then she was gone.
Each time was more painful than the last, and his stiff body began to shake uncontrollably, contorting Karl into a madman as tears burned his eyes and face. She was the only thing he had ever loved in the world, and his heart broke each time he realized she was never coming back.
“Excuse me? What are you doing?”, the girl said cooly, piercing Karl’s eyes with her own, almost unnaturally green ones. “I....I was...nothing, nothing”, stuttered Karl, his eyes still locked with hers. She continued to stare at him, and then let out a resonating laugh. Karl just gaped at her. “Oh to hell with it!” She chuckled, her eyes glittering in the dim light of the bar, “I’m Marilyn”. “And i’m.....Karl! I’m Karl”, he stammered embarrassingly, and she continued to grin. They preceded to enjoy a two hour, utterly awkward yet wonderful conversation before Karl asked her to go on a formal date with him. Marilyn made him wait apprehensively for almost a minute as she pretended to consider what to say, her eyes shining mischievously. Then she got up, leaned over Karl, and whispered into his ear, “I would love to go on a date with you but you have to know something about me first. I have leukemia”. Karl’s eyes widened in shock and he abruptly looked up at her. Marilyn just smiled and said, “It’s not a big deal, we caught it early so i’m FINE!”, giving him a playful punch on the arm. “Call me!” she giggled as she strutted out of the bar with as much charm and charisma as she had entered with, winking at him before disappearing completely.
They went on another date, and another and another. Karl had grown up with some family troubles and had never experienced the actual feeling of love, but everything was clear with Marilyn. The two understood one another entirely, and shared an unspoken bond unlike any Karl had ever felt. After only one month the two eloped and bought a house together, which spoke to the nature of their whimsical lifestyle. Each time Karl saw Marilyn, she was more beautiful than before. She was smarter, kinder, and more talented than any person Karl had known, and she showed such promise in life that Karl often forgot she was sick.
Karl had always pictured them growing old together. He and Marilyn sitting on the porch, holding hands, and basking in the warmth of one another’s presence. But this was not the case. He had grown old alone, and miserable. He had enjoyed only ten years with the love of his life before she was taken away from him forever. Karl sighed deeply and his hot breath fogged up the glass so that the fence was no longer visible to him. His beautiful Marilyn was no longer visible and never would be again.
Blog
“Dost thou love life, then do not squander time,
for that’s the stuff life is made of.”
-Benjamin Franklin
Karl Everett’s seventy-five year old hands shook in the chill of the icy blue morning as he stared out the window, concentrating his gaze on the little yard in front of his house that had changed so much over the years. Deep wrinkles overwhelmed his weathered face, illuminating gray eyes that revealed a deep, unalterable sadness. Although his body was deteriorating, his memory was intact and served as a constant and painful reminder of her. His eyes scorched two holes through the window pane as he gazed at the white picket fence that Marilyn had wanted more than anything. Marilyn. He saw her there for a brief second, her emerald eyes winking as she smiled at him. And then she was gone.
Each time was more painful than the last, and his stiff body began to shake uncontrollably, contorting Karl into a madman as tears burned his eyes and face. She was the only thing he had ever loved in the world, and his heart broke each time he realized she was never coming back.
***
They met fifty years prior at a bar called Shelly’s. A young and handsome Karl sat drinking a beer and joking around with two of his college friends when a group of vivacious girls strolled through the entrance. All of them were attractive, but a striking honey-blonde, dressed in hot pink stood out from the rest. She exuded an air of carefree confidence as she strutted over to the table adjacent to Karl’s, her black high heels clicking on the floor. She smelled of lilac and Karl found himself inhaling the aroma. It did not go unnoticed. “Excuse me? What are you doing?”, the girl said cooly, piercing Karl’s eyes with her own, almost unnaturally green ones. “I....I was...nothing, nothing”, stuttered Karl, his eyes still locked with hers. She continued to stare at him, and then let out a resonating laugh. Karl just gaped at her. “Oh to hell with it!” She chuckled, her eyes glittering in the dim light of the bar, “I’m Marilyn”. “And i’m.....Karl! I’m Karl”, he stammered embarrassingly, and she continued to grin. They preceded to enjoy a two hour, utterly awkward yet wonderful conversation before Karl asked her to go on a formal date with him. Marilyn made him wait apprehensively for almost a minute as she pretended to consider what to say, her eyes shining mischievously. Then she got up, leaned over Karl, and whispered into his ear, “I would love to go on a date with you but you have to know something about me first. I have leukemia”. Karl’s eyes widened in shock and he abruptly looked up at her. Marilyn just smiled and said, “It’s not a big deal, we caught it early so i’m FINE!”, giving him a playful punch on the arm. “Call me!” she giggled as she strutted out of the bar with as much charm and charisma as she had entered with, winking at him before disappearing completely.
They went on another date, and another and another. Karl had grown up with some family troubles and had never experienced the actual feeling of love, but everything was clear with Marilyn. The two understood one another entirely, and shared an unspoken bond unlike any Karl had ever felt. After only one month the two eloped and bought a house together, which spoke to the nature of their whimsical lifestyle. Each time Karl saw Marilyn, she was more beautiful than before. She was smarter, kinder, and more talented than any person Karl had known, and she showed such promise in life that Karl often forgot she was sick.
He enjoyed this ignorant bliss for ten years before Marilyn began to show signs of her cancer. In fact Karl had brought up the idea of having children when Marilyn was forced to tell him that her leukemia was getting worse. This shook Karl, but his eyes were opened to the gravity of the situation only when Marilyn’s body started to become thin and sickly, her hair fell out due to the chemo, and the spark in her eyes began to fade. Marilyn had always been mysterious, and gifted with the ability to conceal what she wanted to, but even she could not hide the ravages of the merciless disease. She held on for a few months of excruciating pain and treatments before dying at age thirty-five, leaving Karl with the memories of her road to death that would haunt him for the rest of his life.
***
Karl had always pictured them growing old together. He and Marilyn sitting on the porch, holding hands, and basking in the warmth of one another’s presence. But this was not the case. He had grown old alone, and miserable. He had enjoyed only ten years with the love of his life before she was taken away from him forever. Karl sighed deeply and his hot breath fogged up the glass so that the fence was no longer visible to him. His beautiful Marilyn was no longer visible and never would be again.
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ReplyDeleteYour story was very well written! You included a lot of detailed sensory descriptions and that really made the reader feel more connected to the story. It helped me feel what the characters were feeling. I loved how you started the story with such vivid details. I could really picture the seen in my head. It was also interesting how you seemed to tell the story as his memories, as you started and ended the story with him in present time. I liked the way that you broke up the story into three small sections, with the middle being Karl remembering their life together. I do think that the middle was a little bit rushed though, when they meet and she immediately tells him, but I do not think that it took away from the story. Overall I really enjoyed this piece, it was very good work!
ReplyDeleteEmily, this is a very captivating narrative and the proverb serves as a well fitted epigraph. I really like how you open the story by focusing on a detailed image, and by briefly introducing Marilyn you allow room for questions that make the reader wanting more. You also did a great job unfolding the story, using Karl's memory to trace back his life with Marilyn until you come back to the scene you started with. I only noticed a few grammatical errors (ex. "i'm" instead of "I'm"), and I agree with Jillian in that the scene where she tells him about her leukemia could have been a little less rushed. You also might want to focus more on how Karl felt he wasted some of his time with Marilyn, as the proverb suggests. But overall, I really loved reading this story!
ReplyDeleteI like how you responded to the proverb indirectly; you addressed the idea of fleeting time without actually saying it. The details you put in about Karl's emotions really make the reader experience his devastation. I also liked how you introduced Marilyn in the first section; as a memory and an italicized name. You also did a great job of showing her personality and not describing it. I agree with the above comments about Marilyn's declaration about her leukemia. The second to last paragraph is especially gripping, as the fogged up glasses could symbolize Karl's faded memories of Marilyn.
ReplyDeleteThis is very well done. I love your style and how you interpreted this epigraph. Like everyone else, I loved how this story was set up like a flash back. It really emphasizes the element of time and how it passes leaving only memories behind. Explaining how they met really makes the reader feel for the character too. By the end of the story, I felt as if I knew Karl and had shared his experiences. I actually disagree with the opinion that Marilyn rushed into telling Karl about her leukemia. I think her honest approach goes well with the epigraph in that she didn't waste any time pretending she was fine or trying to hide her disease. She instead faced it head on and warned Karl right away. Awesome job!
ReplyDeleteGood job with your narrative, Emily! First off, I liked the structure of your writing, beginning and ending with the present while elaborating on Karl’s memories of Marilyn in between. The way you mentioned that Marilyn had leukemia was uncalled for, but a good unexpected twist. I liked how you juxtaposed the two very contrasting points of Marilyn’s alluring personality and the chronic disease. The details are nice, but I felt as though the word limit restricted you from elaborating on how the proverb you chose relates to your story. You did a wonderful job describing how the two developed a hit it off right from the start, but it would have been nice if you added details and concrete examples of how Karl lived his life to the fullest with Marilyn, regardless of her disease. I also liked how you played with the concept of time—an old man looking back on his life and not regretting because he loved this woman. Lovely job!
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